My Dream Life

Sometimes I feel like Walter Mitty, because I wake up in the morning in my gray room to go sit at my desk for 8 hours each day, and my life can look dull from an outside perspective, but you have no ideas of the kind of adventures I have at night when I’m sleeping.

For instance, I have survived being held hostage for twenty-five years, escaped from a skunk that was out to get me with a Tonka dumptruck, and done housework for Pharrell Williams. And that’s just a start.

I had a sister who was going to Montana, and her plan to return to New York was to take along a rope  that was fastened to a beam back in New York, and just swing back. Personally, I think that sounds much more fun than driving for a hundred hours.

One of my brothers who worked at Dollar General for $8.85 an hour, even though having that job meant living away from his family and only seeing them on weekends.

I went on a date during which we stopped at a little store in Honduras to pick up something. While checking out, a hand reached around me, trying to steal my phone. I grabbed the hand, and got into a tussle with the thief, trying to get it back. We ended up on the street, where in desperation, I bit him. And behold, I bit his finger off! On the bright side, I did get my phone back. However, I’m not so sure there was a second date, but this still remains one of my favorite dreams.

Speaking of dates, I was once proposed to by the guy having his parents call me and say sweet things. Shockingly, it worked. (Note: dream me and real me have pretty different tastes sometimes.)

Aliens keep popping up in my dreams, despite the fact that I don’t read or watch much science fiction. One time, I even discovered that I was part alien, so that was kind of cool.

My little brother was getting married to a girl I had never met. At some point in the proceedings, I realized he was wearing shoes made out of dried okra, and shaped like a minstrel’s shoes. I believe my siblings also have slightly different tastes in my dreams than in real life, although if anyone knows where to find these okra shoes, let me know!

Most recently my home was on fire, and I was desperately rescuing my musical instruments, and my mom’s wedding china. Since the china made it all the way to Honduras and back with every piece still intact (in real life), it was pretty important to rescue it from the fire.

So you see, while I might not always wake up very rested, I do often wake up quite entertained!



2 thoughts on “My Dream Life

    1. Anytime! They just keep coming too. Last night I had one in which I gave up both of my kidneys, then only had 40 days to live unless I could get a transplant. Never a dull moment…


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